Accept Friend Request?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what Levi might be like when he grows up.  I’ve been trying to figure out how the interests he possesses now at 2 years old might transfer into his adult years.  Maybe he will be a marine biologist or a race car driver.  Maybe a vet or a musician.  Who knows?  I’ve been thinking about the kind of education we want Levi to have, both in school and in life.  I’ve been thinking about the kind of friends I want him to seek out.  Friends.  That’s a big one for me.  I like friends.  I have been so very fortunate in my life to have always been surrounded by really good friends.  I have talked often about how much it means to me that I think of my friendships as extended familial relationships.  My best friends are like my sisters to me.  Even in recent days where a lot of my closest friends have moved far away, the bond I share with them remains the same.  And I want to pass that value along to Levi.

I don’t know about you but I find myself saying way more often than I like, “I know that guy or girl….well, I mean I think I’m Facebook friends with them.”  And then I go on to state my opinion about them or what their latest status update was that caught my attention or whatever.  But here’s the thing, chances are, I don’t actually know that person.  (Insert disclaimer here: I love Facebook.  I love Instagram.  I even love that Twitter allows me to believe I know celebrities.)  This post is not a rant against social media.  Facebook helps me keep on top of what is going on in the lives of a lot of people I might not be able to see otherwise.  Instagram lets me see pictures of the lives of friends that have moved and makes me feel like the distance isn’t really all that far.  Technology is a great thing.  If I have a beef at all with social media, its not with the application, its with the user.

Face to face conversations are irreplaceable in life.  Finding out a favorite friend is pregnant via a cute announcement video is fun.  But finding out in person, when you can stand up and hug them and shout and smile insanely hugely, is invaluable.  Arguing with someone over a text message is frustrating and usually fruitless.  But arguing with someone over a cup of coffee is frustrating and usually brings resolution.  Sharing your actual life with someone is priceless.  Sharing the ups and downs of your family with someone makes those ups and downs seems that much sweeter and bearable.  Our generation has got to get a handle on our real life relationships before we accidentally teach a generation that being known on a screen is just as good as being known face to face.

So, future Levi, my amazing marine biologist/race car driver son, let me be clear in stating this to you.  Put on your super cool Google glass whatever and “listen” to your mother circa 2013.  Friendships are important.  Good ones are so valuable and so risky but so worth it.  Find friends that you can grow up with and make new ones at each stage of life.  Know that sometimes your friends might hurt you.  People change and if relationships can’t change with them, losing friends can be painful.  Sometimes you will fight like crazy with a friend only to realize moments later that you can’t imagine going through life without them around.  Eat meals with people, like real meals, with plates and napkins and silverware.  Eat meals that last hours and no one ever really wants to push back from the table when they are over.  Go on trips together and discover new things together.  Get the giggles with friends and every once in a while be the only two people in a room laughing hysterically over something no one else gets.  (But only do that occasionally, because it’s really annoying to everyone else there.)  Cry with your friends too.  Life is hard and sometimes you just need to cry and know that someone else will cry too.  If you should find yourself one day with the added blessing of having a wife and kids, make friends together as a family.  Find friends who understand you completely and find friends who completely baffle you.  Share what you have with your friends.  Friends are important and I hope that your dad and I are able to provide you with an example of that fact every day.  We believe it and we want you to believe it too.

And to the rest of you, I could always use more friends.  Like real ones, the kind that eat meals and work out and do happy hours and just generally hang out together…in real life.  So, if you are interested in that too then come find me.  I really like dessert.